


in wonderland

by sourkitteh



Category: Kasabian, The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 20:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3263696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourkitteh/pseuds/sourkitteh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the boys are in wonderland (with added pictures!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	in wonderland

  
[](http://s1197.photobucket.com/user/sourkittehphotos/media/tomalive.jpg.html)   


the first time tom goes to wonderland, he feels himself freefalling, body twisting and lungs gasping for air in a way that makes his head spin. he watches the lockets fall past him, the smoke billowing and the voices forever whispering, the ticking of clocks is loud in his ears as he tries to make head or tails of where he is. 

its like the strangest trip hes ever had and the slowest comedown. he hits the earth running, his feet pounding against the grass and rocks of a wood. his head is still freefalling, spinning as his hair twists around his shoulders. 

theres nothing. the sky is a light blue and the ground an electric green. inbetween is a swirl of technicolour like old acid. tom slows down, fingers reaching out to touch the leaves that rustle loudly and then glances at the shimmering lake. 

tom cant remember seeing anything as beautiful or peaceful as this, wonders if hes been spiked with something hes never tried or heard of before finding his attention drawn to a hole in the ground. 

the door is an old mahogany, the size of a door that wouldnt look out of place at toms house. the earth around it crumbles and tom slips a little as he reaches down to knock at the door. no one answers and toms a little saddened if not a little glad that he hasnt ran into anyone in this very strange place. 

clambering back up the grassy hill, tom doesnt look back as he follows the path back down to the other end of the "garden" only now tom can make out the tiny gate, with the tiny letterbox with a name long since faded. tom wonders who could possibly want to live underground like this when theres a loud voice shouting behind him.

turning around tom spots the man in the white suit waving a cane above his head. 

 

  
[](http://s1197.photobucket.com/user/sourkittehphotos/media/sergealice.jpg.html)   


"youre late!" the boy blinks and then shakes his head, his hair shimmers under the sun and serge is distracted for a second, a minute almost until he shakes his own head and hurries along the path. his cane cracks against the pebbles as he strides along motioning to the boy to follow.

reaching into his pocket serge pulls out an oversized pocket watch, the dials move quickly, spinning round and round until serge feels himself turn dizzy. the tick tick tick of the clock brings serge back enough for him to tut and sigh at himself. 

the path winds between trees and bushes, the flowers rustling and chanting out words that make no sense to serge but makes the boy want to stop and listen. rolling his eyes serge stops, watches the boy lean down to touch at one of the roses before jumping back with a yelp. serge looks at the growing bloom of red on the tip of the boys finger before shaking a finger at the flower still smirking, showing its sharp teeth

"dont you know anything? even the twins know not to touch the flowers" the boy shakes his head, the shock still widening his eyes. serge steps closer, examines his finger before reaching into another pocket and pulling out a hankerchief. "what are you anyway?" the boy watches his finger disappear beneath the crisp white linen before looking up "what am i?"

"yes, what are you?" serge is losing his patience, the clock is still ticking and now theyre both probably late. with a grasp on the boys wrist, serge stalks through the field knowing a short cut. "dont you mean *who* am i?" serge ignores the question and continues to pull the boy along.

"im tom, who are you?" serge glances back at the boy, hes never heard of a tom before.

  
[](http://s1197.photobucket.com/user/sourkittehphotos/media/chrisalice.jpg.html)   


he sits on a low branch watching the two boys hurry along the path, they dont notice the clouds overhead or the dust that covers their footprints. lazing back against the trunk of the tree chris lets a smile curl across his mouth. 

"hey you! down there" the shorter one stumbles slightly tugging on the hold against his arm. chris knows serge, recognises the sharp suit and frantic look always on his face that means hes once again late for something that probably isnt as important as he likes to make out. 

"excuse me?" the boy looks up squinting a little before tugging his arm loose from serges hold. "hello?" chris smiles and tips himself forward to land on a lower branch of the tree "hello serge, who is this?" the boy bristles slightly but also steps closer to serge who huffs out a breath "oh i dont have time for this!" and with a tap of his cane serge is gone and tom is left alone with this new boy. "who are you?" 

the boy blinks, eyes watching the way serge gets smaller the further away he gets. turning back to the boy on the branch tom clears his throat "im tom, who are you?" chris lies down on his stomach to reach down and offer his hand, laughing giddly when the boy reaches up only to miss when he snatchs his hand back

"im chris, and youre tom" tom nods taking a step back. "i dont know where i am, where did that boy go?" chris looks down the path serge had disappeared down with a roll of his shoulders. "youre tom and you dont know where you are" again tom nods his head, chris's smile grows larger. 

"do you know where i am?" the clouds are lowering making the woods seem darker, up in the tree chris lets his head tip to the side as if tom is a puzzle he has to work out "youre tom and you dont know where you are, but you are here" 

"yes, im here, but where is here?" tom feels the urge to stomp his foot and fold his arms across his chest "where should i go?" chris yawns before stretching against the branch hes now lying against. closing his eyes he wonders if he can nap a while before the sound of someone below clearing their throat wakes him up again "hmmm, that is a puzzle" the smile is ridiculous, the sides of chris's mouth stretching almost impossibly wide until tom doesnt want to stare at him anymore.

"where do you want to go?" tom shrugs and glances around him at the darkening wood. "i really dont know" chris's mouth pouts a little before the smile returns "well if you dont know, then how can i tell you where to go? maybe you should go that way?" tom glances in the direction chris is pointing at, there is nothing but trees and shadows and the chill that makes toms spine tingle. 

"or maybe you could go that way?" this time chris points with his toe towards a small stream with birds fluttering about. tom stares between the two before moving closer to the second. he can already hear the chirping of birds and the trickle of water in a stream, its calming and makes tom breath deeper. 

turning back to say his thanks tom jumps at the lack of anything in the tree. walking towards the stream tom imagines he can hear laughter before the birds get loud enough to drown everything else out. 

  
[](http://s1197.photobucket.com/user/sourkittehphotos/media/karloffalice.jpg.html)   


the smoke slithers from his lips, the clouds filtering up into the sky until theres nothing left but another breath to take. karloff lifts the cigarette between two fingers, the filter is long and black and stretches long enough that karloff can tip the ash onto the riverbank.

the sound of humming breaks his attention. the smoke comes out in a cough and for a second karloff wonders who would ever dare disturb his silence. "WHO ARE YOU?" his words come out like thunder as his eyes spark lightening. the boy jumps and then slips on the bank. "im.. my name is tom sir"

"sir? what is this sir you speak of?" tom swallows and slowly gets to his feet "i apologise, im lost" karloff takes another breathful of smoke deep into his lungs, the seconds pass before finally the smoke is pushed out into circles each bigger then the last. 

"where are you going?" tom wrings his hands together as he watches the final circle float away into nothingness. "im really not sure" the dark eyes turn down from staring at the sky to glare at tom "well if you dont know where youre going, how do you know youre not already there?"

tom stops and thinks about it, head tilted and eyebrows scrunched together. the words seem to ring true but still mean that tom is indeed lost. the trees have cleared slightly with the widening of the stream and karloff sits with his back against a large cushion on the riverbank. 

"i think i want to go home now" karloff blows another set of shapes with smoke. this time tom watches triangles and sqares flutter up into the sky. "i dont know where to go?" spirals and swirls flutter their way out of karloffs mouth "do you have any clue where i could go?" the smoke turns spikier, haggard against the sky until karloff leans forward and breathes out the rest of the smoke into toms face "are you still here?"

tom coughs and splutters waving his hands through the clogging smoke until he finally gives up and runs in the opposite direction. the trees close in again and the sound of the stream disappears and with a sigh tom drops down to sit on a broken tree stump with a sigh. "where am i?"

  
[](http://s1197.photobucket.com/user/sourkittehphotos/media/iandjalice.jpg.html)   


"twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder what you're at" tom hears the song weaving its way amongst the trees, the soft voice curling around him and making him feel cosy and warm. tom doesnt notice the newcomer until a hand places itself on his shoulder "little bat?" tom turns with a frown before shaking his head

"im tom" the man shrugs his shoulders and tips his hat before offering his arm. "the names ian, but most call me hatter, mad if you please" tom blinks and wonders if he will ever wake up but decides to follow the man to another small clearing, one that tom hadnt noticed at all until now. 

ian pushes through the crooked gate, places his hat on a coat rack that looks suspiciously like a tree. "welcome to my jumble abode" tom stares around at the large table that makes up most of the area "dont you mean humble?" ian turns with a cup of tea and the largest teapot tom has ever seen "maybe even crumble?" tom watches ian laugh loudly before taking a sip of his tea. 

"would you like a pot of tea?" tom glances at the cups and saucers spread out at the table and nods. his feet carry him to one of the many chairs before finally sitting down. "excuse you, he only offered you a pot, not a seat!" tom jumps and falls backwards. another man stands over tom. "i-i-im sorry"

"now jay, how often do we ever get guests to our stumble abode" tom wants to correct ian again about the saying but both men are circling the table pouring tea and emptying sugar packets into their pockets. "stumble...?"

ian notices tom on the floor and rushes over with a yelp "oh dear, you stumbled! deary me, please wont you have a seat" tom gently gets to his feet, eyes weary of jay still watching him from the head of the table. theres a small seat with a cushion that looks inviting enough that tom goes to sit there. 

"oh no, you cant possibly sit there!" ian shakes his head and looks to jay who is doing the same. tom feels himself panicking, wondering what will happen next "that chair is for guests!" glancing between the two tom clears his throat before whispering softly "but i am a guest?"

shaking his head ian pushes tom to another seat before pushing him down into it with a cup of tea placed shakily on the table in front "of course youre not! guests are people you dont know" tom feels the most confused hes ever felt "but you dont know me?" 

ian and jay laugh loudly before sipping at their tea "oh you are funny, why dont you come around more?" tom glances between the two of them "ive never been here before?" ian laughs so much that jay ends up spitting out the tea he had tried to drink. tom leaves the table without a word and chases the light back into the forest. the laughter continues without him as ian pours jay another cup of tea.

  
[](http://s1197.photobucket.com/user/sourkittehphotos/media/sergalice.jpg.html)   


in the wood ahead tom catches a flash of white before serge is barreling past him with a oomph. "serge? serge! wait for me" serge continues to run but turns back to look at tom with a raised eyebrow "oh its you, are you still late?" tom shakes his head but stops running when he sees serge slowing down. 

"youre not late? but where should you be?" tom feels something clench in his throat before he finally tells serge that hes still looking for somewhere to go. "you need someone who knows where everything is" tom jumps and reaches for serges hand "yes! i need someone to help me find my way home" serge nods and checks the time on his pocket watch before gasping with shock

"oh no, were so late, quick follow me" tom runs alongside serge who keeps glancing down at his watch and then up at the sky. "where are we going?" tom is gasping for breath but needs to know were they are headed. serge pushes some branches out of their way with his cane as they run "to the king of course. he knows everything and anything there is to know"

"the king?" tom has never met a king before, he doesnt know if hes ready to do it now "of course the king! hes the ruler of all these lands, if you need to know where something is, he probably owns it" tom nods and swallows before running faster, trying to keep up with serge.

 

  
[](http://s1197.photobucket.com/user/sourkittehphotos/media/noelalice.jpg.html)   


serge stops at the gate and takes a deep breath, fingers reaching up to smooth the hair back from his face before grasping his cane and walking through the large gilded gates. tom stares around awestruck at the large mazes of bushes and trees, the red flowers make everything seem regal and so much better than tom can ever hope to be. 

the doors to the palace are open which shocks tom enough that he doesnt try and stop serge from pushing him forward. walking into a large hall tom notices the girls in their pretty dresses. the boy from earlier, chris? is perched on one of the top balconies. his legs and arms hanging on either side like he can just lay there dozing. 

tom doesnt know what he should do, does he bow? will he have to speak. turning around tom notices that serge has gone. the white of his clothes invisible in the vivid colours of the surrounding environment. tom wants to leave but the wants to go home even more so he continues to walk further into the large hall.

the king sits on his thrown surrounded by jesters and servants that dare not look him in the eyes. boys and girls run around with clothes held over their arms on display for the king. the man himself slouches in his seat preening at his hair until one of the clothes boys catches his eyes and he motions him forward.

the boy doesnt stumble but even from across the room tom can see him shake with nerves. holding the shirt up for inspection the boys hands wobble slightly but still when the king leans forward to touch the material.

"does it look like i would wear this kind of fabric? does this really look like something i would wear?" the boy shakes his head and tries to bow at the same time. with a scoff and a roll of his eyes noel clicks his fingers before bellowing "OFF WITH HIS HEAD" the boy cries and pleads whilst noel turns to stare at the next lot of clothes. 

the hall is silent apart from the lessening cries of the young man now doomed to his fate. tom has definately decided he has changed his mind when there is a hush before quiet whispers erupt around the room. tom looks up to see that most of the people around are staring back at him. taking a step back tom swallows.

"you there" the king waves his hand in toms direction who tries not to notice too quicly "yes you, guards, get me that one over there" tom feels the large hands of a guard tighten around his upper arm before his whole body is pulled in the direction of the king.

"i dont know you, who are you?" tom bites his lip before whispering his name. noel blinks before motioning to the man close to his side, they whisper for a few seconds before tom is once again back in the spotlight "i am the ruler of these lands and i do not know of such a name. what are you? what is your buisness here?" 

tom ignores the murmuring behind him, the crowd is growing restless and the king is shifting forward in his seat "answer me boy!" clenching his hands together tom speaks slowly but clealy for the king to hear "my name is tom and i seem to be lost. ive heard that you know where any place is and was wondering-"

"you were wondering if you could sneak into my court and address me like a common little servant boy. lower your eyes! how dare you look at me in such a way! i should have my guards remove you immediately" tom shakes his head and steps forward "no please, i only came for your help. please!" the movement causes tom to stumble and for a sickening second he wonders what will happen. 

twisting as far away from the king as possible. tom feels himself fall with a thud before there is a hush from the crowd. glancing up tom can see where his hand is touching the kings robes and then the blossoming red of the kings face. cringing down into the floor tom is already apologising before he realises hes being lifted up and the weight around his neck is coming from the king himself

"i shall have your head!" the grip tightens around his throat and tom can feel himself choke and sputter. the lights start to shimmer in his eyes until finally with a gasp tom feels himself lose conciousness. 

waking up is painful and tom finds himself lodged between two hard places. theres laughter above and tom cringes at the thought of something he doesnt know above him until he realises that the laughter is familliar. 

opening his eyes tom is met with the frayed fabric of carpet beneath hs nose and a further inspection brings into line a pair of shoes that belong to a very tall pair of legs. gritting his teeth tom looks up further and further until finally with a grin serge waves back down at him "how pissed were you last night? you were as high as a bloody kite. it was hilarious" tom blinks and then seems to recall his dream and then his friend who continues to laugh at him stuck on the floor. 

"mate, ive just had the craziest dream" serge helps tom get to his feet, hands perched under his arms to give that added support until tom is steady on his own. "yeah yeah, you can tell me after a nice cup of tea" walking into the buses kitchen, tom feels his body shake as ian pours a cup of tea from a teapot and chris is laughing at something jay is saying. beside him serge curses under his breath before moving up the bus shouting to the driver "come on man, were gonna be late!" sitting down at the table tom decided maybe not to mention the dream and sits nursing his cup of tea much longer then he normally would.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in 2010 and posted it to the old kasabian comm on lj that was sadly deleted. i thought i had lost it all but a lucky search on my old computer found the photos and then the actual text so *phew* hope you enjoy and dont think its too weird!


End file.
